two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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