At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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