this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
