Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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