Do you still have your period?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
