the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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