His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
