I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
