Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
