She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
