who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
