My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
