I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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