I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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