I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
