I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize