so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
