There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
