she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and i looked up. we had an audience...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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