You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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