so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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