your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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