i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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