Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
