You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
