dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
