I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
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I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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