it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Say something about gay babies.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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