Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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