Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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