Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
