i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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