I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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