You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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