Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
