do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
