I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
