Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Text me some of your sweat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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