in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
