we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Randomize
