So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
