Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In America we eat man semen.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
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Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
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we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So much Jack, so little girl.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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