yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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