just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
