And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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