Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers