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idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You can't just leave with hair like that
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