There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.