dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
