Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize