I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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