Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
