I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
