it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it