Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
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you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
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you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams