So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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