I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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