in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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