I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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