i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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