I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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