So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Im part way to drunk.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
