how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
