i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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