yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
