I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
