I didn't shave. On purpose
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
