Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
