He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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